The Vegan Diaries — Part VI: Mama I (Almost) Made It
The following video is my week five recap vlog.
Below the video is a blog post pertaining to some of my food wins and fails on the vegan diet.
T - 5 DAYS, Y’ALL. FIVE. DAYS!!!!!
In six days, I can eat animal products again and man, am I anticipating that moment when I can cut my knife into a juicy steak, bite into a greasy burger, or bust open a runny egg yolk.
In the past few weeks, I covered four focus areas: energy level, cost, physical effects, and carbon footprint. However, when I laid out these four focus areas at the beginning of this experiment, I neglected to cover a pretty big one: food.
I’m sure about half of you are genuinely curious about what I’ve eaten on a day to day basis and the other half don’t really care, however, I’m going to tell you now.
I took a vow before Lent began to not eat fake meat products, or “alternative proteins” as the politically correct might say, and I kept true to that promise. Although I wanted to break down a couple times and make myself a beyond burger or eat some over-processed-plant-based-not-real-chicken-nuggets, I did not — on principle.
I ate a lot of salad. However, salad and I have a love-hate relationship. See, I hate lettuce, specifically the “lettuce juice” which comes with lettuce. Many of you reading this blog post (close members of my family included) will say that “lettuce juice” is not a “thing.” Well, ask anyone who doesn’t like the taste of lettuce and they will tell you it most definitely is. So, when I say I ate a salad, I mean I ate a massive pile of baby spinach topped with a vinaigrette; some walnuts, almonds, or sunflower seeds; maybe a few raspberries or blackberries; possibly some dairy-free cheese; and, if I needed more protein or was really hungry, some roasted sweet potato bits and quinoa. If there’s one good thing that’s come out of this experience, it’s that I learned how to make a mean salad.
Mushrooms were my go-to at least once a day. I would go on record saying that mushrooms made their way onto my plate in some way, shape, form, or fashion every single day. Mushrooms are relatively rich in protein and I found that if seasoned correctly, they can inherit a beefy taste.
I tried my hand at overnight oats, and I have to say, I enjoyed them. Overnight oats are one of those foods I can’t get sick of and are incredibly filling. I regret to inform the pilgrim on the giant Quaker Oats container in my cupboard though, his days are numbered. I would much rather eat eggs and bacon for breakfast in the morning.
Chips and salsa were always a win for me on this diet. Most fresh salsa recipes only contain veggies and seasonings, which is a win for this pepper-belly-Texan. I don’t want to yammer on about my love affair with chips and salsa, so I’ll just leave you all with this, “GIVE ME CHIPS AND SALSA OR GIVE ME DEATH.”
Before I unleash my secret weapon, I want to discuss my vegan food fails. Tofu is the number one food fail of my vegan experiment. Ordering tofu at a restaurant was always a success, but when I attempted to cook it at home? Let’s just say the texture, flavor, and leftover eat-ability was lacking.
It took me a while to get the hang of mixing texture. Such as the “chickpea pasta” I made. The flavor was there, however the chunky pasta sauce, mushrooms, onions, chickpeas, and quinoa just didn’t do it for me. I mixed too many textures, I think.
I will now whine about wine. EVIDENTLY, most wines are not vegan. It has something to do with the “fining” process which, according to “The Kitchn,” can contain casein (a milk protein), albumin (egg whites), gelatin (animal protein), and isinglass (fish bladder protein). When I found this out, I wanted to cry… however I did find one bottle at Costco which I have rationed over the past five weeks.
My last and probably biggest fails include admitting my wrong doings. So… I accidently consumed animal products… four times. The first was actually three days in: Lane made popcorn and I forgot he melted butter to cover said popcorn in, I ate a handful, then remembered. The second, which I admitted prior to this moment, was when I ordered a “quinoa cake” at a local restaurant, which contained egg whites. The third was when I drank half a bottle of Gatorade — who knew Gatorade wasn’t vegan? And the fourth and final time was when I sneakily took a bite of Lane’s fried rice, got caught, and was quickly reminded that fried rice contained eggs and butter.
As far as Lent goes with the above paragraph: the Lord still loves me. It is hard to stick to somethings. You can slip up, even when you don’t mean to. And yeah, it pained me to see others eat pizza, or fried chicken, or steak. It pained me to cook “normal” food for others while I made vegan food for myself. But you know what? I bet it pained Jesus Christ to fast for 40 days and 40 nights in the desert. If anything, this experience taught me that although I may falter, the Lord is going to love me through it all.
To finish this blog post on a positive note, I would like to share with you the best recipe I found whilst on this vegan experiment: Hot Mac and Dairy-Free-Cheese.
Trust me, this sounds weird, but it is sooooooo good. So good, in fact, that I will probably make this recipe even when Lent is over. And, like any good southern woman, I do not have exact measurements for this recipe — so if you make it yourself, you’ll have to eyeball it.
I began by chopping and roasting cauliflower seasoned with salt, pepper, and paprika for about half an hour. While the cauliflower cooked, I boiled pasta shells in salty water until al dente, drained the shells, and put them in a casserole dish. I made a roux with a splash of canola oil, a handful of flour, salt, pepper, paprika, and almond milk. I whisked the mixture together until I achieved my desired texture, removed my pan from heat, and added about half a package of non-dairy shredded cheese. I folded my fake-cheesy-roux into the shells, then added some Frank’s hot sauce to the mixture and kept folding. I then took the cauliflower out of the oven, coated it heavily in Frank’s hot sauce, and added the cauliflower to the shells as well. I crushed up some Ritz crackers in a plastic bag with a tiny bit of canola oil, pepper, paprika, and more Frank’s hot sauce, then sprinkle the crushed-up-cracker mixture on top of the shells. I put the casserole dish in the oven at 350º for half an hour and waited for the timer to buzz.
To say this dish is incredible is an understatement. My mouth is watering just typing out the recipe. I think it would be even better if I replaced the cauliflower with chicken.
As the title suggests, I’ve almost made it. Next week, I’ll be able to eat all the animal products I want and buddy, let me tell you, I am DREAMING about that moment when I’ll get to bite into a cut of beef again. Next week, I’ll also go over my final thoughts on the vegan diet and reveal the outcomes of my experiment. Spoiler alert: my hypothesis was correct.
Week 5 Update:
The bloating only happens when I eat carb-heavy foods and my face is finally clearing up, I think my body is finally somewhat used to this diet — and I’m about to end it.
I have lost 10 pounds in five weeks of eating vegan.
My energy level is still incredibly low. I can’t wait to eat protein heavy again, because I won’t get exhausted halfway through a workout.
I checked with the Environmental Protection Agency (aka the un-biased government funded agency which focuses on combatting climate change) Carbon Footprint Calculator, guess what? My carbon emissions have yet to change.
Footnote:
I know many of you are more than likely skeptical of this journey and have questions about the process. I would love to visit with any of you about this experiment and can be contacted via email at mpurviance97@gmail.com or via phone at (406) 259-4589.
To follow this journey in depth, subscribe to my YouTube channel, like the Activists vs. Agriculture Facebook page, and follow me on Instagram @mayzie_purviance.
